just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
