I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize