you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
