my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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