yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
