I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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