It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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