I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
