how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
