That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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