Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
