I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
