what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize