I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize