So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
