I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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