Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
