I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
