Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
