I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
