He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
