One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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