Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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