he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i was born a porn star she said
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize