when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
