so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Randomize
