I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
