I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
