She is in my trunk
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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