Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well I just put wine in my tea
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
