five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
