I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
