ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
