You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
