I didn't shave. On purpose
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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