I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize