i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
