party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
