I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Rumble strips road head = magical
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
