ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude i'm inner monologue high
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
