hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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