I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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