She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Edward fifth and chaser hands
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
