She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
