The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
