Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
