i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
