Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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