Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
