wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
