I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
