So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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