How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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