So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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