you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My vagina is very pro this idea
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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