so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
