where am i from again
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize