yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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