she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
