I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
