you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
