She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
